Film update No.2!

Raised by wolves for a minimum of one year, to this day Azim will admit to feeling 'a bit sexy' whilst viewing Disney film 'American Werewolf in London'.

We all spent a lot of money on our Halloween costumes, so for Azim to say he was just going to 'black up' for the night seemed really unfair.

If you're ever wondering what's wrong with Azim: It's his personality.

Film Update!

Having seen The Deer Hunter, Azim Shah was unable to determine whether it was a film or a real memory. Paradoxically, he believed himself to be the Willem Dafoe character.

Facebook

In 2002 I more or less told Azim to invent what is now known as Facebook. He didn't because he's a waste of time. Now every time he uses Facebook he cries a tear from precisely one eye. He is also unable to view David Fincher's 'The Social Network' without being violently sick.

A young Azim

"I just want to be a superhero", cried a young Azim Shah, "like the great Batman." His mum looked at him and laughed, "But son, Batman is a mere invention - he's not real! Surely a man cannot dress in a costume and go around fighting crime?" With this Azim was sad, though aged only four at the time of this story, he had already decided on his future - to be a great superhero! Azim's mum laughed and sighed, "Oh son, maybe one day I'll be proven wrong, and superheroes will rise to help those truly in need. But it won't be you because you're a prick."

The shit returns

Azim once burnt down an ORPHANAGE. When 'the police' asked him why he did this he could only answer "You can't not do a double dare" and shrugged, with a confused look on his face as if to question why the police were wasting his time.

Stealing.

Watch out for Azim, he steals stuff! That cunt!

The one thing I hate about Azim.

The one thing I hate most in the whole world about Azim Shah is that he says foul language in front of GIRLS AND WOMEN. Much of the time he is more sexually explicit than you would really want at 7am and you've just got to work and you're still half asleep and that. And that's me saying that, and I'm a man; what would a woman think? Not fucking much, that's for sure.

Jesus Christ...

Azim doesn't like to use staplers because he doesn't 'trust' their design. What a FUCKING MORON.

Mozilla Firefox

Azim prefers Mozilla Firefox to Internet Explorer. Take that as a recommendation if you want I suppose.

Hate

Ask Azim his opinion on Jamaican Ginger Cake and he'll almost definitely reply 'I hate it.' I think hate is a dirty emotion.

Swear Words

Personally, I feel that swear words are unneccesary, except for in extreme situations in which case the odd swear goes a long way to relieving the pressure of an intense day at work or a stressful day out with the kids.

Azim however, uses swears in completely unneccessary situations, in a way a normal person would use common words such as 'the' or 'and'. He shows a relentless disregard for those around him as he approaches the English language like a villain that one must attack. With swears.

Good points

The one thing I like about Azim is that sometimes he leaves the room.

Books.

Azim Shah hates books. Ask him to read one and he'll almost definitely not read it. What kind of a man is he?

He is "well" into leaflets though.

Azim Shah is not right.

Azim Shah is a disgraceful old bollocks.

GAY FOR DOGS